What you're about to read is a real chat I had with a chatbot on Windows Live Messenger. If you don't know what that is you aren't alone, I'm not sure how they work other then they're robots using a script pretending to be a model for a webcam site. They also pretend to like you just for being a man.
This one is a pretty simple one that will say the same thing to you no matter what you say. The more complex ones with give you a more "Human" response to make you feel like you aren't being tricked into anything.
The Infamous Chris says
Hey!
Madison QT says
Hey.. its u again :) how r ya? hows ur day goin babe?
The Infamous Chris says
So far so good, you're very friendly today
Madison QT says
im going to start my show again now.. u gonna come watch? i hope u didnt give the FREE VIP PASS link out to anyone babe?
The Infamous Chris says
How old are you?
Madison QT says
its gonna be really hot this time.. the 3 of us are giving one of our lucky members a hand job with oil lol.. its gonna get kinky
(Bitch ignores me!)
The Infamous Chris says
Are you saying you might give me a handy?
Madison QT says
u cant tell me u dont wanna watch that hahah.... im not trying to scam ya u geek... i gave u a free link.. its way easier AND MORE ENTERTAINING for u to chat/watch me in there heheh www.modelinvitesonly.com/VIP
The Infamous Chris says
I want a handy.
Madison QT says
Anyways I gotta get going...but if u were serious about wanting to meet up.. ud show a bit more interest i understand if im not your type... seems like Im nobody's type lately
The Infamous Chris says
Okay look Madison, I'll be straight up with you
I want a Arnold Palmer from you, if you hear me knockin'
Madison QT says
Like I said last time its soo much easier for u to chat me in my room... I gave u a 100% free link like i do for my friends... im rarely on messenger and i wanna chat with u and you're not really workin with me here
The Infamous Chris says
You're always on messenger because you're a robot..
Madison QT says
if u dont come I wont be mad.. ill be back on msn after I move.. so we can chat then... this is kinda shitty though www.modelinvitesonly.com/VIP
The Infamous Chris says
Now, how about you give me that secret handshake if you smell what The Rock is cooking.
Madison QT says
k now im definatley late lol... ill see ya in the chat room. im kinda horny so its gonna be a good show.. xoxoxo www.modelinvitesonly.com/VIP
The Infamous Chris says
Late? Holy shit you might be pregnant!
Madison QT says
Away Message: I just missed ya, Im doing my cam show now so come chat there... I got my new High Def Webcam finally www.modelinvitesonly.com/VIP If I missed you then email me your phone number here yukonrfask@gmail.com so I can call you after you login to the site
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
"Do you love her?" "Yeah, when she's quiet."
At the time of writing I am in a relationship.
This isn't really a rant about my girlfriend (because if it were I'd never get any ever again) it's really just about me adjusting to having to deal with someone who isn't forced to like me (like my family) after being the coolest uncool bachelor for around a year.
One thing I'm trying to get used to is not always doing whatever I want whenever I want.
Before, I had a cell phone that I used mainly to tweet and navigate to various houses of ill repute with. It would sit in the corner, muted, like an abused stepchild and charge all day. Right next to the kid I was babysitting at the time.
Now, I text her, call her, send her pictures of funny words on breakfast menus, the usual stuff. The only problem is I get easily distracted by shiny things. Like TV when I'm playing Xbox. I tried talking to her AND playing Xbox, but she just wasn't into it. I guess me talking to Commander Shepard more than her was annoying. Whatever bitch.
Before, I could play Rock Band/Guitar Hero whenever I damn well pleased.
Now, I hear things like " I think I need an ambulance.. CAN YOU TURN THAT THING OFF?!"
I'd never say that to her if she were doing something women love to do, like vacuuming.
Speaking of vacuums, those things are always so loud, its like the day is split into two parts: When the vacuum is on, and when the vacuum finally gets turned off. And whatever you're doing during the time when it's on is ruined. All you can do is wait until it finally shuts up, and while you're waiting you start to imagine how awesome what you were doing is going to be without the vacuum there to interrupt. It's human nature. Here's an example
"Man! I can't wait to see what kind of crazy shenanigans Matthew McConaughey got into this time!"
*Vacuum starts*
"Ugh! now I have to pause this.. I bet this movie is gonna be so awesome, I bet it's gonna be nothing like Surfer, Dude or How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, or Failure to Launch. That had Sarah Jessica Parker in it though..so its not fair to judge him for.. EW EW SARAH JESSICA PARKER! BAD THOUGHT! BAD THOUGHT!"
*Vacuum stops*
"I can't get Sarah Jessica Parker out of my mind. I'm going to put a gun in my mouth now."
A terrified wife, girlfriend, clean freak roommate or anyone else who might have lived with you find a piece of paper in your hand, a gun in the other. Its obvious you've killed yourself and left a note. They extend a shaky hand and read this:
To Whom It May Concern;
Sarah Jessica Parker is responsible for my death. I knew it would be her from the moment her beady eyes pierced my soul through my TV screen. Even now she haunts me in my minds eye laughing maniacally like the witches she so closely resembles.
Goodbye cruel world.
Seriously, Sarah Jessica Parker is the worst.
This isn't really a rant about my girlfriend (because if it were I'd never get any ever again) it's really just about me adjusting to having to deal with someone who isn't forced to like me (like my family) after being the coolest uncool bachelor for around a year.
One thing I'm trying to get used to is not always doing whatever I want whenever I want.
Before, I had a cell phone that I used mainly to tweet and navigate to various houses of ill repute with. It would sit in the corner, muted, like an abused stepchild and charge all day. Right next to the kid I was babysitting at the time.
Now, I text her, call her, send her pictures of funny words on breakfast menus, the usual stuff. The only problem is I get easily distracted by shiny things. Like TV when I'm playing Xbox. I tried talking to her AND playing Xbox, but she just wasn't into it. I guess me talking to Commander Shepard more than her was annoying. Whatever bitch.
Before, I could play Rock Band/Guitar Hero whenever I damn well pleased.
Now, I hear things like " I think I need an ambulance.. CAN YOU TURN THAT THING OFF?!"
I'd never say that to her if she were doing something women love to do, like vacuuming.
Speaking of vacuums, those things are always so loud, its like the day is split into two parts: When the vacuum is on, and when the vacuum finally gets turned off. And whatever you're doing during the time when it's on is ruined. All you can do is wait until it finally shuts up, and while you're waiting you start to imagine how awesome what you were doing is going to be without the vacuum there to interrupt. It's human nature. Here's an example
"Man! I can't wait to see what kind of crazy shenanigans Matthew McConaughey got into this time!"
*Vacuum starts*
"Ugh! now I have to pause this.. I bet this movie is gonna be so awesome, I bet it's gonna be nothing like Surfer, Dude or How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, or Failure to Launch. That had Sarah Jessica Parker in it though..so its not fair to judge him for.. EW EW SARAH JESSICA PARKER! BAD THOUGHT! BAD THOUGHT!"
*Vacuum stops*
"I can't get Sarah Jessica Parker out of my mind. I'm going to put a gun in my mouth now."
A terrified wife, girlfriend, clean freak roommate or anyone else who might have lived with you find a piece of paper in your hand, a gun in the other. Its obvious you've killed yourself and left a note. They extend a shaky hand and read this:
To Whom It May Concern;
Sarah Jessica Parker is responsible for my death. I knew it would be her from the moment her beady eyes pierced my soul through my TV screen. Even now she haunts me in my minds eye laughing maniacally like the witches she so closely resembles.
Goodbye cruel world.
Seriously, Sarah Jessica Parker is the worst.
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