Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Commercial Breakdown: The Criss Angel Mindfreak Magic Kit

The commercial starts with women screaming in fear. (more on that in a minute) then we see a man floating.
mind you that this is all before you have any idea what's being sold to you, then it's revealed to be a magic kit and we see some kids saying things like "THIS IS AWESOME!" and "THESE ARE THE BEST TRICKS EVER!" and that's all fine. I'm not going to waste your time on the kids and the magic set, there's a reason I'm writing this..



skip to 0:43 and you'll see why those poor women were screaming.

"Its the best ice breaker!" he says. Ice breaker, OR DISTRACTION?!

Why is that creep surrounded by women? I'm going to assume his name is Roofie Jones, and he's going to rape all those girls. I mean, he's already a magician, that means he knows some slight of hand, like slipping something into your drink.

Here's what'd happen if the police ever found this guy

"Problem Officer?"

"License and registration please."

*Roofie Jones hands the Officer a wallet, the Officer is stunned to see his own license being handed to him*

"What the.. how did you do that?!"

"Oh, just something I picked up from my buddy, y'know.. Criss Angel"

"You know him?!"

"Sure do, I can show you a few tricks if you want, I'm not in a hurry"

BAM. Roofie Jones got away. Again. So there you have it, The Criss Angel "Mindfreak" magic set is helping this monster take advantage of young women everywhere, helping him make enough friends that no one would believe it's him, and keeping the police off his back.


You know what? I'm going to buy of those damn things right now.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Christmas at my house

I don't know about you guys, but Christmas is kind of a big deal to my family. Mainly because we get to see the extended family that are usually very busy during the rest of the year.



My Cousins, Drew and Matt.

By busy I meant usually doing hard time for stabbing someone in the eye and going to business school.

Anyway, after all the presents were open, and all of the food was gone so was my extended family. It felt good to see them, as always I look forward to next year but I couldn't help but think to myself  " I feel sorry for the Jews" We only have one day of being surrounded by the people we love and had to buy presents for, they have eight. Sheesh. Poor guys are surrounded by other Jews who don't want to pay for decent gifts like a TV or gravy bowl or Shamwow.

Anyway, what I'm really trying to say is that I'm just happy the holidays are over.

...unless you're black! Happy Kwanza!